New hilarious found!

Take a long paragraph from 4chan, Facebook, Deviant Art, etc.
Put it through Translator 8 or 9 times
Post original and results!

Original: She's only with you because you're a drummer and she wants to fuck the guitarist. And after that she'll start to realize how shitty your music is and tell you that you should just kill yourselves. In the meantime she will focus on her life and goals, go to college, get that degree she needs, get a respectable job. Then maybe one day she will question to herself, "What ever happened to that Drummer I dated?"
And then she will start to miss you. She will call you up and tell you how much she misses you. She will tell you how you made her feel better and great. Shell tell you how wonderful she feels now seeing that you went nowhere in life and that she is greater than you in everyway. Shell tell you how she misses watching you fail and aim for things that are out of your league and are pathetic.
Then she will become an astronaut!

Results: dance, and wants to build a guitar. And to understand how music mèrdik and only wants to kill me, you started saying. At the same time, he is a decent amount of work needed to get to school, get his life, he focused on its objectives. So maybe one day you will have problems "is wrong with me, the drums"
, And started missing. Atakupigia missed the phone number says. This, he explains how to feel better, and more. Shell life, and it is not, to see how good you feel in any way here. They need from Shell they see how the department and sad, and you do not look.
It's Astron!

Original: I having a bad day, my wacom is broken which means I can't finish my comic. Also I can't draw anything because artist block. And, lastly 0 new comments for my artwork. I been drawing for 8 years and all comments I get for one artwork is 2 or one at best. When I small kid I though other people will get more views is because their very good, but I have now seen some artists who can't draw very good will get more views than I ever would. I believe sometimes my work will never get notices, other good exampe of my curse is my art teacher. She comment on well talent peope and people who can't draw. But all she say of my work is I quota "it's okay". Maybe I should quit drawing for good.

Results:I have a bad day my Wacom, you can not understand is that fun is broken. Block because I am an artist, I do not understand something. My new picture on the comments at the end of year 0: e I am 8 years old and I have a piece or two of the most art and art for all the comments I have. This is very good, because as a kid, I have some people, but no more than very good, although I am now, I can draw, some artists have more comments. Sometimes, I try to get information, other than a good example of my curse, my art teacher. He can not save the note, and many are talented peop. But the "OK". Maybe, I said, the work and dedication, the right to stop the video.

Original: A lot of mystery and controversy surrounds J.D. Salinger. It seems he stopped publishing his work just when he was peaking as an author, and since then has been essentially a social recluse, granting no interviews and making no public appearances whatsoever. Some people think he's sort of a Holden Caulfield himself. The Catcher in the Rye ended up as an emblem of counterculture in the 1950s and 60s – a symbol of alienation and isolation for the disillusioned and restless post-war generation. Salinger's own isolation from society only amplifies the mystery and allure of this important book.

Results: largely a mystery, and talk about JD Salinger. Stopped their work problem, but if it occurs in the upper part, the author may come as a great social and language be no dialogue. Some believe that Holden Caulfield is the sort of headline. Sets sail as a symbol of counter in 1950 and 60 - a symbol of division and war, the first generation of the illusion of separation and fear. Salinger's social isolation, and it only increased the mystery of this book is important.

Not quite as OP asked , but imma contribute anyway.


(Hey look, its John!)

Hey Atheists,

My name is brother John, and I despise every single one of you. All of you are blaspheming, immoral, devil worshipers who spend every second of their day denying the existence of a higher being. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever read a bible? I mean, I guess it's fun wandering around ignoring the one and only messiah, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than defecating on Jesus's shroud.

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I was captain of the bible study team, and said the most prayers in church. What religious activities do you take part in, other than "Worshiping the porcelain God"? I also get a lot of praise from the local community, and have a smart black bible with gold trim (I just read the gospels; Stuff was SO enlightening). You are all sinners who should just repent. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my bible




From this thread : http://boards.4chan.org/fit/res/5782956#5782956

Original: Can't find, left page then it 404'd. sry.

Translated: H / b

I have a cheater girl came home from school and lose your student loans. Leaving the village, and then I'm on the street, no money, no future. Oh, and I lost my job two months ago. Now, depression, anxiety and chronic fatigue syndrome. Oh, and do not know the military, even if you wish, because peanut allergy (FML), too. Even if I have a hero?

I live in Quebec, Canada, and I'm 20 years old. I live in a city or eet'n bit of money. The next step is a shot in the face to give, but not worth the money the damn gun to buy.

Photos, please, I do.